In my years of experience as an executive leader in non-profit and higher education settings, I have witnessed a great deal of conflict. I’ve been a Department Director during a strike, served as a hearing officer for disputes between labor and management, and managed teams whose middle managers couldn’t align on purpose, sometimes even working at cross-purposes.
Yet, most of these conflicts produced significant and transformative results. We learned about one another, tested ideas, and often found better solutions. Through anger, tears, and deep listening, we realized we could still respect and work together—sometimes, even with a deepened sense of mutual respect.
Conflict is necessary for workplaces to thrive. I’m not alone in this belief: one study showed that 75% of employees experienced positive outcomes from workplace conflicts that might not have emerged otherwise.
However, poorly handled conflict can cause lasting damage. A study from the UK found that 40% of employees involved in conflict experienced decreased work motivation, and 56% reported stress, anxiety, or depression. These emotional side effects have financial consequences as well: conflict costs American industries an estimated $359 billion per year.
Defining Conflict
Conflict arises when differences in values, interests, perceptions, or goals cause discomfort. You may love the color green, and I may love blue—but that doesn’t mean we’re in conflict. Conflict occurs when, for example, you support a hiring freeze, while I believe it would be disastrous for my department. How we share, compare, and decide on our ideas will determine the organization’s success.
Many leaders aim to prevent conflict. I disagree. Instead, workplaces should create conditions where people can learn from conflict. This doesn’t guarantee happiness for everyone involved, but it does mean organizations can advance more effectively toward their strategic goals by leveraging productive conflict.
Key Understandings for Leaders Engaging in Productive Conflict
Productive conflict begins with self-awareness. Leaders who handle conflict well often share the following beliefs:
- My perspective is valid and valuable – My experiences and expertise offer a beneficial point of view. I don’t need others’ validation to recognize my own worth.
- I can benefit from the perspectives of others – Even when I disagree, I have something to learn from others’ experiences.
- I am sometimes wrong, and that’s okay – My self-worth isn’t tied to always being right. I’ve risen through the ranks by taking risks, learning from mistakes, and admitting when I was wrong.
- Respect is given, not earned – I can’t force anyone to respect me, but I can act in ways that are worthy of respect. It’s up to others to decide whether to reciprocate.
- Past conflicts influence present reactions – My emotional response to a conflict may not be proportionate to the situation. By examining past events, I can work toward healing and better manage current conflicts.
How Leaders Can Foster Productive Conflict
Here are a few strategies to help leaders create environments where conflict leads to growth:
- Listen actively – Be curious. Ask questions and listen with the intent to understand, not just respond.
- Use “I” statements – Own your perspective with phrases like “I think” or “I feel,” rather than attributing thoughts to others with “many think” or “some believe.”
- Breathe – During conflict, the brain tends to trigger a “fight or flight” response, leading to shallow, rapid breathing (amygdala hijacking). Taking deep, slow breaths helps you stay present and listen more effectively.
- Propose solutions – It’s easy to get caught up in the problems of a conflict, but focusing on actionable solutions helps move things forward.
- Be open to changing your mind – Approach conflict like a scientist: continually gather evidence, and if it contradicts your current perspective, be willing to adjust.
At The Bailey Group, we help leaders turn conflict into invaluable learning opportunities. If you or your organization are ready to harness the transformative power of conflict, we have the expertise to guide you.
