“I’m At The End Of My Rope Dealing With People Having Challenging Personalities. What Do I Do With Them?” 1st in a Series of 2
A big part of being a CEO is dealing with people. All kinds of people. Even ones we don’t like. And I mean really don’t like. It’s not just their personalities we don’t like, it’s them. While this is an odd, even heretical, statement for an executive coach to make, it’s true.
So, while I could talk about different personality types and how to deal with them effectively, I’m going to blow right past that and talk about what to do when you find yourself leading, working, or dealing with someone you simply can’t stand. It’s called “self-management”.
Before an encounter with one of these charmers, ask yourself the following:
• What is it about this person that sets me off?
• What hot buttons do they push?
• What’s my typical reaction?
• What am I doing to contribute to the awkwardness?
For example, I have a hard time with people who tell me what to do. It makes me feel incompetent. My typical reaction is to tune them out, shut down, or get ticked off. This does not make for a very productive conversation. Knowing this, I can anticipate this hot button getting pushed and do my best to diffuse my reaction. By breathing. By recognizing that their suggestions aren’t necessarily a frontal attack; they may actually be trying to be helpful.
When entering into the conversation, state up front what you want to accomplish and check for agreement. If you can begin with the same end goal, that’s half the battle. By identifying and working towards mutually beneficial outcomes, you can diffuse the tension and begin to interact productively.
Give these suggestions a try and you may find that the number of people you really don’t like gets smaller. For those who still get on your nerves, I’m sure that the next blog in this series will give you some very useful tips!
